The holidays are right around the corner and with that means holiday gift giving. Adoptive parents, you are not obligated to get your child’s birth parents a Christmas gift. BUT (yes, there is a but.) Why wouldn’t you at least sign your name to a simple card, just to let them know they’re thought of?  As a birth mother, I frequently get asked by adoptive parents what they should get their child’s birth mother for Christmas.  And as much as we all love Christmas cookies, I don’t have a cookie cutter answer to that question.

There are so many factors that go into gift giving, especially when it is someone as important as your child’s birth mother. Of all the factors to consider – money is not one of them. Adoptive parents – you could send us birth parents a napkin with some chicken scratch on it that our child did and we would be over the moon. It’s not about the money, it’s about the meaning, the thought, the love, the relationship.

I have tried to assemble a Holiday Gift Guide that encompasses both ends of the spectrum for birth mom relationships. From the distant, to the consistent, to the kick open the front door relationship, I think I have a gift idea for you!

Christmas Card and Gift Card – nothing fancy, or expensive. Just something to let them know you’re thinking of them. This is a great gift if you don’t have a super open relationship with your child’s birth parents or they don’t always want pictures or updates.

Photos – You can never go wrong with photos, but you can always be more creative then just sending your birth mom a stack of photos. Spend a couple hours and create a photo book of their child’s year, they’re easy to assemble, inexpensive, but so meaningful.

Artwork – Anything handmade is a home run! A hand print wreath or a drawing, a footprint reindeer or a picture colored by their child will be cherished forever.

Devotional – Sherrie Eldrige authored a phenomenal devotional for adoptive parents AND birth parents. This would be a wonderful gift for the birth mother in your life, especially if you get a copy for each of you. Find it on Amazon. 

Jewelry – Adoption jewelry is always a safe choice. There are plenty of inexpensive options available! Some incorporate the triad symbol.  Some are also able to be personalized with names, dates and birth stones. See some of our favorite options below!

Artwork with a Twist – You can take a piece of your child’s artwork and have it brought to life! Check out these amazing necklaces that turn a drawing or piece of art, into a meaningful keepsake that can be taken anywhere.

Ornament – Take your child’s annual Santa photo and create an ornament with it for your child’s birth parents. It’s a great way to start a tradition and a gift for every year. Or gift them an ornament that is meaningful every year.  As your child gets older they can even help pick it out!

School Bus– A school bus frame would be a great birth parent gift idea for school aged kids! Gift them the school bus frame and every year send them a wallet sized school photo for them to update.

Charm Bracelet – Charm bracelets are such a unique and easy to personalize gift idea, that are fairly inexpensive. Each year, add a charm that represents a meaningful event in their child’s life!  It could be a milestone or an interest for that year.  As they get older, they could even pick out the charm!

The holidays are an exceptionally difficult time for birth parents.  Those first years post placement when they’re navigating the first major events and holidays without their child are especially hard. Take a few moments to let them know you’re thinking of them this holiday season.  It might mean more than you know!